i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think your dad took our porno
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
