I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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