Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
