I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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