You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
