I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
