How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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