on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
