Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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