I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
