but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I bet he comes in French.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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