Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you would pick up someone in the library
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
