He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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