You're so nebulous sometimes
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
