You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
