If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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