you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
