She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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