Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize