just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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