fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
