Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This is the high leading the old right now
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
