i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize