I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
