Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
