We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
