All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
