the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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