I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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