i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
