She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize