i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
