y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
