If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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