There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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