theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
