Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
