ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
