Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I came so hard my ears popped.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
