He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
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