Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize