I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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