Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Couch. On fire.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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