If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
