You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
