My cat gives me a boner
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
