Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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