tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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