We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
