the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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