just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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