I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
