what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
