whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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