So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
