dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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