it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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