So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize