It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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