Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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