I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In other news, I just burned my penis
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
