talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
